toward the downside

I'm feeling a bit worn out lately... Tired of the old unending published moronic topics? Yeah, sure!. But there are othe thing piling up... nasty littles nothing that hit you from behind when you don't expect them. Playing the neutral agent inbetween teens arguments is tiring... even depressing, knowing that everytime they arrive, the first thing they do is ask for something.. may I do this, may I have that, may I? may I? may I? To be honest with you and with myself I just feel like a distributor. When I reply NO to anything... I'll let you guess what awaits me.

This is but a little thing... My health is going somewhere, but without me it seems. I am not feeling well, more often than before... That also is a little thing. Prisonner of my home, is a fact I try to cope with... but I can't do much more than that knowing that I am under the povrety level, and somebody must do the youngest caretaking.

To keep my mind busy, I offer to run my game clan for the summer, well I couldn't watching it die during those long months... The founder is gone fishing. So I took on my own time, building a website and finding a hosting for it. To learn how to do almost averything... after three weeks of hard work... It's been pointed out that the technology I used was "old school" looking... sad but true.

Whats positive in all that? Not much I'm afraid. I'm filling the gap for my girlfriend absence, who got back to work three weeks ago... Feeling worn out, and nauseaus, I'm wondering if I am not loosing myself in all this because I do alot of thing for alot of people... but besides receiving critics for my work, my menus, my way of holding the house clean... I don't get much, except for my girlfriend who is most kindly thanking me, when she's not too tired.

I don't do much for me in all this... but I'm nothing, no job, no money... all I have for me is time... Time itself is not a real great satisfactin in life tho.

I'm sorry for having posted this, but I had to do it... I hope it release some greyness in my heart... but it explains part of what I feel.

TheDark a écrit:

I'm sorry for having posted this, but I had to do it... I hope it release some greyness in my heart... but it explains part of what I feel.

Don't be sorry...

...As I say : It's always better OUT than bucckled up inside...

Mais heu... pensez à des jeunes et gentilles filles ( comme moi ) qui ne comprennent rien à l'anglais

Ca y est je suis exclue

"gentilles filles" ....

oui de gentilles filles comme Kler et moi ca existe

Ben oui nous on est gentilles

you gets too old, will be necessary that you takes your retirement of the Net, it is that the new young person, its please always be right and its lesson gives you whereas they to know anything the life!

gone how the power is with you! The dark

kler a écrit:

Ben oui nous on est gentilles

Oui...Mais à c'moment-là il s'rait peut-être plus judicieux de mettre le sujet avant l'adjectif...
"Filles gentilles"...ça sonne déjà nettement moins antipathique

Bitteulse a écrit:

Oui...Mais à c'moment-là il s'rait peut-être plus judicieux de mettre le sujet avant l'adjectif...
"Filles gentilles"...ça sonne déjà nettement moins antipathique

parfaitement d'ac ^^

TheDark a écrit:

I'm feeling a bit worn out lately... Tired of the old unending published moronic topics? Yeah, sure!. But there are othe thing piling up... nasty littles nothing that hit you from behind when you don't expect them. Playing the neutral agent inbetween teens arguments is tiring... even depressing, knowing that everytime they arrive, the first thing they do is ask for something.. may I do this, may I have that, may I? may I? may I? To be honest with you and with myself I just feel like a distributor. When I reply NO to anything... I'll let you guess what awaits me.

This is but a little thing... My health is going somewhere, but without me it seems. I am not feeling well, more often than before... That also is a little thing. Prisonner of my home, is a fact I try to cope with... but I can't do much more than that knowing that I am under the povrety level, and somebody must do the youngest caretaking.

To keep my mind busy, I offer to run my game clan for the summer, well I couldn't watching it die during those long months... The founder is gone fishing. So I took on my own time, building a website and finding a hosting for it. To learn how to do almost averything... after three weeks of hard work... It's been pointed out that the technology I used was "old school" looking... sad but true.

Whats positive in all that? Not much I'm afraid. I'm filling the gap for my girlfriend absence, who got back to work three weeks ago... Feeling worn out, and nauseaus, I'm wondering if I am not loosing myself in all this because I do alot of thing for alot of people... but besides receiving critics for my work, my menus, my way of holding the house clean... I don't get much, except for my girlfriend who is most kindly thanking me, when she's not too tired.

I don't do much for me in all this... but I'm nothing, no job, no money... all I have for me is time... Time itself is not a real great satisfactin in life tho.

I'm sorry for having posted this, but I had to do it... I hope it release some greyness in my heart... but it explains part of what I feel.

It's been more than a year now.
I guess things are getting better for you. I know that Neko's sick and that a lot of house-caring and frustrating moments await you. But appart from that, I think your life must be better now. I mean, it seams to me that when you wrote this topic, you were tired of doing nothing and now...I guess you're still tired BUT... You're using you're time in a much more constructive way. Aren't you ?

Anyway, take care guys.
I wish you all the best.